The Evolution Of A Family

After getting married, my husband and I couldn't wait to start our family. Being young and in love we just knew that we were going to be wonderful parents and that our children would be outstanding. That being said, we didn't have a clue what we were getting into, we learnt the hard way that there is no "Handbook For Raising Children". Now, don't get me wrong, there are tons of how to books, but none of them can really help you raise children and help you face the hardships that come along with raising a family.

We struggled with lack of money, cultural differences (he was from the north and I had been raised in the south, he was catholic and I was not), we lived with his family and mine was 500 miles away. We rarely agreed on anything to do with how we were going to raise our children. But, one thing that we did agree on was that divorce was not an option. We were committed to staying together.

We fought and argued, we laughed and cried but most of all we loved each other and our children. We made a lot of mistakes and we got a few things right. We created 3 wonderful and loving children. We survived the lose of our first born to cancer when he was young. We made it through the pain and suffering that goes along with chemotherapy and radiation therapy and the news that it didn't work.

We separated and came back together because we loved each other and our children. We helped each other reach for the stars and held each other when we came crashing down to earth. We held our family together through pray, hope and stubbornness.

We survived our daughters rebellious years when we didn't know if she was alive or dead. We each dealt with the pain in our own way but always as parents. We survived the lose of our own parents, and grandparents. We did the best that we could do.

Then something happened, at some point, our children suddenly turned into young adults. Our daughter came back into our lives and has turned out to be a truly amazing woman. She is strong willed still, but has taken that and turned it from a negative to a positive. She is a loving, caring and giving person that I am proud to say, "She's My Daughter and My Best Friend". My son is finally finding his way, after a few false starts, he is slowing coming into his own.

So, what have we learned? That no family is perfect, that parents don't have all the answers, that children become human again once they hit their early 20's. We have learned that fighting for your family is worth more than anything money can buy. We have evolved into a loving and caring family that cares about each other and that we can be individuals and still be a family.

How We Have Failed Our Children

It is hard to admit, but we have failed our children. It didn't happen overnight, but gradually and without us even realizing what we were doing. Maybe we thought we were doing the right thing, but it has come back to hurt our children in the long run.

If you were part of the baby boomers, then you grew up in an era that started out innocent, but ended in turmoil. You grew up with "flower power", "make love not war", you grew up with liberals ideas that we thought would change the world for the better. We were going to end racial bias, end the Vietnam War and prevent further war. Peace was going to be our legacy. We were going to be better people.

What have we accomplished? The same people who wanted to save the world, are destroying our country. Why did we allow prayer to be taken out of our schools? What purpose did it serve? Why do politicians and religious leaders encourage racial animosity? Why have unions allowed businesses to close up shop and move out of this country without a fight? When did we stop fighting for our freedoms and our liberty?

By trying to hard to give our children everything, we have given them nothing. We have created a generation of selfish, lazy and uncaring people. There are many who feel that something is owed them. There are many who feel hard work is beneath them. There are many who only want to take the easy way out. This is how we have failed our children.

If we don't do something to turn this country around, then there will be no legacy for our children. We need to start today, we need to return to the morals and values that helped our parents and grandparents through horrific personal, economic and political times. We need to put our personal differences aside and come together as one and repair the damage done to this country.

People will say it can't be done, but it can, if we only try. We only have to have the courage to take the first step.